Squidge's Guide to Super Stories (and Becoming a Better Writer)

I've mentioned my 'little' non-fiction project a couple of times, and that I've signed a contract for it with Bink. I reckon the time's right to tell you a bit about it!

I've written a guide to creative writing.

Called Squidge's Guide to Super Stories (and Becoming a Better Writer), it's aimed primarily at younger and/or novice writers, and captures the kind of advice I give on school visits or when giving feedback to novice writers. 

I wasn't sure about it to begin with. I mean, I write, yes, but was I really qualified to give advice? When I think of all the 'How to' books I own, written by BIG name authors with many more publications under their belts than me, how would anything I could offer ever stand up next to their advice? How could I dare to lump myself in with some of the amazing editors and writers I know personally, who offer writing advice to paying participants at conferences and workshops?  

I felt like an imposter. Unworthy. 

But gradually, I began to see things differently. I've watched writers I've given feedback to, or helped with editing, go on to be published and win competitions, even before I was published myself. On school visits, the things I've said about how to improve written stories has made a difference to the pupils and what they've managed to produce. And in more recent times, my help has been actively sought for and - to my surprise - I am being paid for it. I've enthused, supported, and enabled many other writers.

So maybe, just maybe, what I have discovered for myself over these years of writing can be of use to others, too.

I pitched the idea to Bink, and they said go for it. 

And I have! Not only have I written, I have drawn - the book will have little sketches dotted through it. 

Like these: 

I have covered idea-finding, process, structure, characters, world building, editing, and writing groups. I've provided prompts to work with, and examples of the kinds of things that I feel improves my own writing and which I hope will help others to make theirs better. It's not an instruction manual though - it focuses very much on the reader finding their own way to be a writer. 

I hope it will be fun to read, and make a difference to those who choose to read it.

Who knows, maybe it'll help write the next bestseller? Exciting times!

Catching up...

 Goodness - HOW long since I wrote a blog post?! 

Well, here's one just to bring you up to speed on what's been happening since the middle of July...JULY!! And we're now in September. Blimey.

First off, I hope that wherever you are when you're reading this, that you are still safe and well, and coping with these strange times and any restrictions you may currently have imposed upon you and yours. Life seems to consist of wash hands, wear a mask, keep your distance! And its all very samey as one day blurs into another. 

But we're still here, and there have been some exciting things happening since you last dropped by...

Tilda and the Mines of Pergatt was launched, the competition was won, and at some point (Californian wildfires permitting) there will be a video compilation taken from the launch for me to share with you.

We've discovered some printing issues with Tilda and the Mines of Pergatt - I discovered several copies with pages missing, pages cut short, and even shifting text... If you had a print copy and you have any issues with it, please do let me know. 

Tilda #3 has been delivered to Bink. They like it, I've got a couple of kinks to iron out, but nothing humungous. No idea when it's likely to be published - I'd guess middle of next year at the earliest.

I've begun a non-fiction project, and am slowly working my way through it. Problem is, there's so much stuff I could include, it's hard to know where to stop! I'm working little and often on that one as the story begins to settle in my head.

I've NOT begun to work seriously on Tilda #4 yet, mainly because of the non-fiction project, but also because I have been doing some paid editing work for a friend I reconnected with recently. I won't say too much at this stage, but I am very excited to be working on a collection of steampunk short stories he's putting together. I have to say I wasn't sure about being paid for the editing to begin with, but the more stories I've worked on with M, the more my confidence has grown. It's a bit like when I started doing author visits - I daren't charge because I didn't have the experience, but I need time to prove to myself that what I can offer has value and is worth paying for. It helps that he writes well and between us, we've knocked the collection into very, VERY good shape.

I am hoping to attend a couple of book fairs later this month...although the UK has today introduced a legal limit on social gatherings of no more than six people, and I've no idea how that will affect the planned events. 

What else? Squidgeling T has gone back to his new house in Manchester ready for a new uni year, while Squidgeling J goes back to Bristol later this month. Have to admit I am nervous, as both Squidgelings are in the age range most affected by coronavirus infections at the moment. In other family news, my Dad celebrated his 80th birthday with a socially distanced weekend of visits from various family members - and had three cakes, one to celebrate with each of his children's families. Not quite what we'd originally planned for him, but still a lovely occasion.  

And that's about it for the moment. I promise it won't be as long before I post my next blog!! Although something more exciting has got to happen for me to write about, first...

A Tale of Two Versions

As every author knows, you often end up with multiple versions of a novel's manuscript on your computer. Mine go something like this;

Version 1 is the really rough one. Often doesn't have much formatting in it, no speech marks, sometimes notes instead of proper sentences.

Version 2 is the first polish. Fills out the story, gets formatted, looks much more 'proper'. Usually ends up hanging together as a story much better. 

Version 3 is often the 'voice' version, where I really get into my character's head and often rewrite sections from their point of view. It's really where the story comes alive, and often the one that gets sent to beta readers - or the publisher if I'm feeling really confident about it.

Well...

You remember I had a bit of a rough time just before Tilda #2 was published and launched? (It went great, by the way - a few issues that others might like to learn from, but I'll blog about that another time).  I was working on Version 3 of Tilda #3. I'd found a few glitches and worked out some issues, but took a break from the third novel to give Tilda and the Mines of Pergatt a really good start.

After the launch, I picked Tilda #3 back up - and realised that, although I had begun working on a third version, at some point I'd switched to Version 2 of Tilda #3 to continue working on. 

This means I now have a beginning of Tilda #3, Version 3 that's been tightened and put into Tilda's voice, and a middle of Tilda #3, Version 2, that's had the same treatment. 

You'd think it would be simple to fix - just combine the two bits of the different versions and carry on, yeah? 

Nope. 

Cos when I was working on Version 2 more recently, I was grappling with some issues that had implications for the earlier part of the novel - and I went back in Version 2 to change them. This makes it VERY complicated to use Word's combine/compare function, and I decided not to go down that route for fear of complicating matters even further.

I'm left with two versions of the same novel, neither of which is the most up-to-date on its own.

This has resulted in me printing out a hard copy of Version 3 and transferring any sections I changed in that to Version 2 on the computer, mainly because Version 2 is the larger file which suggests there is more content in it. The result is Tilda #3, Version 4. 

It is slow, painstaking work to correct. Every now and again I come across a section and I don't know which version has the most recent changes in it - both sound OK. As a result, Version 4 - in places - has ended up with something entirely different again. Hopefully it'll all come together in the end. 

I'm just thankful I realised before I sent anything off to the publisher... 

Half a polished novel, anyone? 

At least I don't have this many versions on the go...

That sinking feeling...

I was in two minds about posting this, because it deals with a rough time recently which resulted in a few issues around the publication of Tilda and the Mines of Pergatt. 

However, I decided to go ahead and share this with you because it's another pointer towards how hard writing and publication can be when you're not completely focused. I have to say that I'm really thankful for the support of the team at Bedazzled Ink in this, which made it possible to still meet the intended publication day; they cover pretty much every aspect of the publication process themselves, and I didn't make their job easy with this particular novel!

So what happened?

In January, I received the edit from Bink. I worked through that OK and sent it back a few days later for the typeset to be prepped. Bink also worked on the cover design (which I LOVE!) and the blurb, so although there was radio silence for a while, I knew cogs were turning furiously behind the scenes.

Then - COVID. The world went a bit mad, and my head wasn't good with the weirdness of everything. I fought the panic attacks of my first post-lockdown shopping trips, stayed at home, and kept on editing Tilda #3 while I waited for the typeset of Tilda #2. 

We settled a bit more into the new 'normal' and got to May 8th...when my father-in-law died. (Thought to be Covid related, but not confirmed).

Things got a bit blurry after that, as you can imagine. And in the middle of that particular cloud of grief, the typeset arrived. I worked my way through it, using it as a distraction, and sent it back on the 20th.

But something was niggling at me. There were a couple of places in the novel where I felt I'd not explained things properly or there was a lack of consistency with the first book. On the 22nd, I emailed Bink to say that, as much as it pained me to say it - we were at the typeset stage, for Power's sake! - I didn't think the book was ready to be published. Could they give me a bit more time to address the issues?

Bink might well have had a facepalm moment in the office, but they never hesitated; I was given a week. 

In hindsight, I realise I was not in a good place mentally - haven't been for a while - and probably should have given the edit much more time. The Black Dog that people talk about had actually been loping alongside me at a distance since well before January; since lockdown he's been an awful lot closer at times, and I finally recognised him for what he was. I'm still up-and-down a bit, but on the down days, I allow myself the time I need to do something that doesn't involve concentration...

Back to the book. 28th May saw my typeset notes returned to Bink. A day later there was a revamped typeset back with me for final read through and I still found things to change! Mainly cos I'd missed them before, but also as a result of the changes I'd asked for previously. (I wonder if there is a record of how many times something's been read and changed and faults are still being picked up?) 

Either way, on the 1st June, Tilda and the Mines of Pergatt was published digitally - hooray! Paperbacks would follow! All done!

Not quite. June 9th, I had a surprise delivery; I videoed myself opening the box!

And then, as I began to take photos to post on the Scribbles, my heart sank. I realised there was a typo on the spines... The title was Tilda and the Merjan. Talk about being in the clouds one minute, and dashed to earth the next. My first reaction was, what would readers think if they'd ordered books already and they arrived with a duff spine title? 

But within 24 hours, and even considering the time difference between us, Bink were on it, had made the changes, sent the cover flat to me to double check it, and the new cover version was on its way to the printers. 

If you do receive a copy with the wrong title though, hang onto it - I'm reliably informed by Bink that some book collectors pay good money for copies that have mistakes on them. So when I'm rich and famous, you might be able to cash in! I have forty of them myself...they will either have a corrected 'patch' added to the spine, or be sold as is - both cheaper than a 'proper' copy - at some point in the future...

It's all been a bit mad, but we've come through and out of the other side and I'm still smiling. 

At least I've learnt to recognise the Black Dog so I can take steps to keep him at a distance in future - or not tackle important stuff when he's trotting at my side.

Fighting to find some focus

Life is still very up and down, isn't it?

I've taken to posting my daily positives on facebook, because otherwise it's very easy to only see the limitations and negatives of these strange times.

Writing feels incredibly difficult at the moment. Not the blogs so much - they've almost gone back to being an online diary, like in the very early days of the Scribbles. But the novels...

I thought that as we have all this enforced time on our hands, I'd set about editing Tilda 3. Unfortunately I seem to be making things worse, not better. I can only do small chunks at a time, which isn't helping the story to flow. And yesterday... I had a particularly tricky scene to rework. I can see the action clearly in my head, but trying to write it from Tilda's deep viewpoint? By the end of two hours, it felt as though I was walking through treacle. I'd only got through two pages, and neither of them felt very improved.

I couldn't seem to get into Tilda's head at all, and it made me wonder whether there's an element of coronavirus crisis causing it? We're all going through so many changes so quickly in the current crisis, maybe I can't actually lift my subconscious focus from myself? Not that I'm being selfish - more that, like at other times when Life has got in the way of creativity, Life at this precise moment feels really big and scary and the effect that has is to shut down any creative juices that might otherwise be flowing. Survival mode, rather than comfy creative mode?

Except creativity hasn't shut down completely. I'm knitting socks again. They're relatively quick to knit, can almost be done with my eyes closed, and they don't require much brain-power, so it feels an easier outlet. The only difference is that these 'coronasocks' are being knitted for other people because I've got a drawerful of them already and don't really need any more...

Red white and blue for Squidgeling J, purple and green for E 

I'm also colouring in, which is why I took delivery yesterday of Jacqui Grace's book, Images of Hope. We all need hope at this time, don't we...? But I also like Jacqui's style and find it restful to create something unique, based on her work. Again, it's something I can do without using much brainpower.

One I did earlier in Words of Grace Devotional also by Jacqui

One waiting to be done in the new book

Hopefully, as this new 'normal' gets more normal, the focus will come back. I'll keep on trying to edit in between the colouring and knitting and who knows - maybe Tilda 3 will turn out OK in the end.

If not, maybe my next book will be all about knitting socks.

Stay safe and well. 

A Milestone for Tilda 3 - and Car Park Capers

You've heard of A Tale of Two Cities? This is A Blog in Two Halves...

This morning, I finished the first handwritten edit of Tilda 3.

What does that mean, I hear you ask? It means that Tilda 3 has moved from the first s****y draft in a notebook, past the first s****y draft on computer, and is now a paper copy full of multicoloured scribbles. It's still as far from a proper, finished novel as you can get, but my read through has helped me to see where the novel needs expanding, and how the mahoosive climax can be written so it's all Tilda's fault...

It also means that, when I head off to Weobley next week, to spend four days at a Writing Retreat run by two wonderful ex-cloudie friends - Jayne and Moira - I am in a position to either start typing up all the edits to Tilda 3 OR crack on with the first s****y draft on computer of Tilda 4. This fourth adventure for Tilda is going to start in a dark place... and involves Issrayan dragons.

Nuff said.

And the Car Park Capers?

Yesterday, Mr Squidge and I went to Leicester. We don't go often - we're not into big name shopping and we can get most of what we need in the town centre at home, but I had to pick up the new Paschal candle and palm crosses for church from the cathedral shop, and he wanted to visit Nada, a zero waste store. I also had to begin the process of applying for my e-Visa for India (I'm off to Trichy again, mid-April, in case I hadn't already mentioned it), so we planned to drop by Belgrave Gate and a particular travel agent's on the way home.

Anyhow, we checked where we could plug Sparky in to charge while we mooched, and headed off to the car park.

Now, finding the recharging points in any car park is a bit of an art. They are normally on the ground floor, well signposted and have green parking bays. We drove around all three - extensive - floors in the Highcross Rooftop Car Park and couldn't see a single one. Now, we didn't really need to charge - we'd have got home again quite comfortably - but we thought we'd do it anyway, as keeping the battery topped up is better than letting it run low.

We ended up pressing the 'Help' button. "I'll get my colleague to talk to you," the nice lady on the other end of the intercom said. Five minutes later, with no more contact from the disembodied voice, we were about to park up and not bother charging. Then said colleague appeared in person - and directed us from the sunny rooftop, back down onto the first level, to 'the dark new bit.' That didn't sound particularly attractive, as dark bits in car parks aren't very safe, but off we went.

We drove round the roof twice, trying to find the way out (signposting really isn't this car park's strong point - the exit was a very narrow ramp, hidden behind a wall with a teeny tiny sign) and followed the instructions back to the first level. Even there, we couldn't find 'the dark bit'. Then - Alleluia! - a green charge point sign. And another, pointing the way to - yup, The Dark Bit.

Now, the reason for the darkness became apparent as we drove towards the charge pod points. The lights were on motion sensors. So this newer part of the car park was being environmental with reduced lighting for most of the time because - let's face it - all it would've been doing otherwise was shining on empty, stationary vehicles.

We plugged in, and it took a while to download the app to enable charging - different suppliers have different apps you need to sign up to, which results in lots of faff when you start using a new supplier anywhere. I spent the time admiring the artwork... They were very keen to get the environmental message over, weren't they?

After all that, can you believe we didn't get much of a charge? It took so long to download the app, the charge point didn't let us draw any more power because it didn't think we were signed up to it.

But at least we know where we can go in future. And we both got the shopping we needed, had a lovely lunch in The Globe pub, and a mooch around the city centre in the sunshine. On balance, a good day.

When writing's exciting

For most of the time, writing can feel like an uphill slog. You simply have to keep your bum in the seat and your pen in your hand (or fingers on the keyboard, depending on how you work).

Yes, there are occasions when I can legitimately NOT write, because I'm giving a talk, attending a book fair, or perhaps a workshop fro my own benefit; that's all still part of being an author, but it's not writing.

But most of the time, you're actually writing. And ultimately, it's a grind to get the story down, to create something that a publisher's going to want to publish and readers are going to want to read.

During that process, any author will tell you that they recognise certain stages. Here are mine:

1. Enthusiasm.

Particularly relevant to the early stages of working out a story, when ideas seem ten-a-penny and you can't get the notes down quickly enough. Notebooks are strewn around the house, with weird jottings like 'Name change!' or 'find out about cheesemaking' which make you wonder if you were suffering from temporary insanity. But you don't stop - you trust they'll all make sense at some point and be vitally important to the story you're creating. (Beware - this stage can also develop into 'Researchitis', when you get so bogged down in finding out facts to use in your story, you forget about the actual story...)

2. Hard work.

Thrashing it out. 'Growing' the story. Asking yourself questions until you're absolutely certain of this character's motivation or the time of day in that scene. Seeing the story develop into something you've got a real hope with. This probably covers my notebook version, when I'm working the story out in a general sense, and the 'shitty first draft on computer' stage too. It'll also carry me along quite comfortably to a little over half way through the 'first proper write up' on computer, where I'm beginning to edit fairly closely to produce a decently presented and structured version of the novel. Then...

3. The stall. 

You reach a point where, whichever way you turn, you can't see how to make the darn story work. All those great ideas you had seem really stupid now, and you need to fix them. But every resolution you think of churns up a new issue somewhere else, and the story begins to morph into a massively complex beast and you can't tame it. So you stop. Or feel discouraged. Or wonder how on earth you ever thought writing this novel was going to be a good idea. (And also the point where I'm most likely to give up on a story, though it's not happened that often. If I do give up, I hate that the story has 'beaten' me.)

4. Excitement.

I have to force myself back to it, ignore the stall. I'll go over what I've already written, editing the obvious things, but essentially familiarising myself with the story again. When I reach the point where I'm writing new stuff, I've probably rewritten or tweaked a fair proportion of what was already down and causing me issues. I'll have spotted plot holes and stunted dialogue or inconsistencies, made notes on how to address them, and the excitement begins to build as I continue. It's all becoming clearer in my head, the writing's flowing, and I'm then at a point where - quite suddenly - the momentum of the story is carrying me along, and I can feel the pressure mounting and my character's are doing their best to make things right but things are going wrong and there seems no way out for them and then - POW!

5. The Finishing.

There's a resolution. Everything's not necessarily finished, but the story ties up in a logical place and it feels - finally - complete. Like a real story at long last.

6. The proper edit.

The simple (hah!) act of going over the whole story and polishing it until it's glowing.

At the moment, I'm working on Tilda 3, and I'm at the fourth stage. In fact, I'm only taking time off from it now to tell that I've reached it because I'm SO excited! It's getting very Jason and the Argonauts, and Tilda's right in the middle of the action, heading full tilt towards a climax of GIGANTIC proportions.

It might still be a few weeks before I reach the fifth stage, but it feels close. A lot closer than when I was stuck at stage 3, anyway.

For now, I'll keep writing...

No, that's not Tilda - that's Jason!

NaNoWriMo 2019 - sickness and success

I decided to have a go at NaNoWriMo this year to work on Tilda 3, and get the first draft up on computer. Previously, I've done NaNoEdMo for myself, which meant that I had a manuscript fairly well developed already, and I worked on editing throughout the month instead of fresh work. This is the first time I've used a NaNo initiative to create relatively new material.

I'm just over half way through, and here's where I'm at:

• written for 15/17 days
• just over 22K words down to meet a target of 50K
• predicted to finish on Dec 8th

It doesn't sound bad, especially when you consider that the two days I've not written were a combination of sickness (lovely little coldy-coughy bug in the run up to Christmas) and family events (had both the Squidgelings at home with a short overlap - first time we've all been together since September, and family's sometimes more important than any goals we might set for ourselves.)

What's a little worrying at this stage is that I'm almost at the end of the story, and there simply aren't the words to make it a decent length. BUT when I looked at what I've written, I realised that I'm not actually 'writing' the scenes. They're more like notes on what's going to be happening, they're not fleshed out in any way, shape, or form. So I'm hopeful that if I hit the end of the story before the end of November, I'll be able to go back and really work on the individual scenes.

I've never been a particularly disciplined writer, but this particular NaNoWriMo has highlighted to me that I don't work well in trying to be creative under pressure. I think I need to take more time at this stage, and use the discipline of NaNoWriMo to focus on the editing. That said, I'll carry on this month, without feeling guilty about having missed the odd few days or ending up with a completely finished script at the end of it. 

Interestingly, when I did CampNaNo in June, we were able to set our own word count target, and as I'd turned mine into a 'words edited' target, perhaps I had unrealistic expectations as to what it meant to write 50K new words...I mean, Kingstone took 74 days to get the story notes down, and another 60+ to get to the point of a 46K first draft!

Do I think I'm being successful so far this NaNo? Well I've written more days than not, and my word count keeps increasing, so yes. It will be interesting to see where I'm at by the end of the month...I'll keep you posted. But right now, I'm off to get the 2,000 words down NaNoWriMo tells me I need to get back on track!

Editing, un-editing, and gooseberry bushes.

I have been extremely quiet on the blogging front - again. I last posted when I finished Camp NanoEdMo, and had a completed edit of the current novel under my belt. That is now with BInk, and I'm waiting to see what they think of it.

Would you believe, as I sent that one off - the second in Tilda's adventures - the first book came back the other way, having been edited by BInk. (Publication is September, so things are starting to move, with cover design and title ideas being thrown around!) I'd already spent some time working on the first book, because it didn't feel as much in Tilda's head as I wanted it to be, so I ended up incorporating some of my most recent changes into the MS as I checked through BInk's edit.

Problem was, a lot of the stuff I added went it, then a lot of it came back out.

Sometimes, I was only playing with the word order. The alterations I'd made added nothing of value to the scene, so I was un-editing myself and reverting back to the original - which most of the time BInk had no issue with. Realising this led to a very interesting discussion with fellow authors over in the Den of Writers, because I started to wonder whether I was making changes for the sake of change, rather than to make an improvement.

Editing's a weird stage in a novel's life, especially when it's an editor that's made suggestions, rather than you being self-critical of what you've produced. I try not to be too sensitive to the suggestions of A.N.Other, but it's hard.

Some issues arise because the US editor works to a slightly differently format to the UK and we end up bouncing back and forth a bit until I understand why certain punctuation has to be a particular way. Some are because I'm not being grammatically correct - and I'll admit, I don't know all the rules so I do break them; I often write how I'd speak, but when written down, that doesn't always work.

Of course there are places where BInk make a suggestion and I can see that there is an improvement needed, but I have to find my own - Squidge - way of saying it. This can be as subtle as a change of word choice, to ending up re-writing whole sections of the novel. And it's never clear which it's going to be until I start.

There are a few places where I dig my heels in and don't want the change that's been suggested. In this particular novel, I often write actions linked to 'began to...'. I think it must be due to how I picture the scene in my head - I see a sequence of actions, so in writing about the action, it begins before it continues or changes. I can accept that's not always appropriate though, and to state more simply that the action happened is better. But not always...

So, having accepted, amended and rejected - mostly the first two! - the edit of that book's back with BInk too.

I felt rather bereft once it had gone. I tried to go back to book 3 - currently being handwritten in a notebook - and got seriously stuck on a plot point.

Perhaps it's a genuine sticking point. Perhaps it's just that I have focused so much recently on editing, I'm not allowing myself to make mistakes and play any more.

So, in an attempt to give myself a breather, I've done some gardening. I've often said I love my garden, but I don't like gardening, so this is a major form of procrastination/need for thinking time if I'm actually weeding. Mr Squidge wanted some more gooseberry bushes, so the two of us set to on a patch of weedy ground we'd not sorted out since the garden room was built; it was covered in borage. Now bees love borage, and it's very pretty - looks like a prickly, large, forget-me-not plant - but boy, does it spread. It's overtaking my garden, and a real beetle to dig up.

Borage, bramble (lovely blackberries so we keep it), and bush!

Lots and lots and lots of borage

But we cleared the space and yesterday, planted two goosegog bushes and some ground cover flowers. Hooray! I also planted up a couple of blueberry bushes in pots...

Planted!

Pots. I do like blue in my garden

Has it worked in terms of giving me headspace and mulling time? I won't know that until I get back to the notebook, but I'm hopeful. At least now, when I'm sitting in the garden room on a sunny day and staring out of the windows looking for inspiration, I'll have the fruit bushes to look at.
 

Baby goosegogs! These will be red, the others yellow-green

 

And teeny tiny blueberries beginning to form...

And even if I struggle a bit more with the latest novel, there'll be gooseberry wine and blueberry gin to look forward to later this year...so at least something good's come of the writing break!

Winner, winner, Chicken dinner!

It's official! I am a winner - apparently.

Here's the update if you don't believe me...

16/4  - 173

17/4 - 0

18/4 - 1315

19/4 - 1219

20/4 - 828

21/4 - 1579

22/4 - 1729

23/4 - 889

24/4 - 1855

25/4 - 1879

Total words at final count - 48025 (Target was increased to 48K from 45K about a week ago)

I realised that the end number of words, when added together, might not match my final total, because some days I went back over short sections of what I'd done the previous day - especially when I was writing rather than editing near to the end. But ultimately, I have completed a first, fairly well edited computer draft, of a 48K fantasy novel. 

I'm not going to say I've finished, because I know I haven't. I need to rest this story for a while, then come back to it with fresh eyes. It's never really finished until it's in print. (If it ever reaches that point).

And I have to say that although I'm pleased, I don't feel like a 'winner'. That implies I've been racing against others to get my project completed, but I don't like to think of myself as being in competition with folks on the writing front. All of us in our Camp NaNo cabin made progress on our projects, so in that sense, we're all winning, even if some of those projects won't be completed by the end of the month.

The best lesson of this whole intense writing camp that I'm taking away is that I have proven to myself that I can be disciplined enough to write a little (sometimes a lot) every day if I need to. That alone is worth the win.

So what's next? Book 3, of course! And finding beta readers for numbers 1 & 2. Any takers?

Camp update 4

Well, things have been a bit up-and-down over the past few days. Had another no writing day, a very low word day, then a couple of good days.

12/4/19 - zero.
13/4/19 - 690
14/4/19 - 3460
15/4/19 - 2285

Total to date: 36366 words edited.

Actually, what I've produced over the last couple of days is more like first pass writing, because I'm at a part in the story where I got stuck before. VERY stuck. So it's all written in note form, without formatting; I'm having to do a lot of filling out and formatting as I go.

I also increased the word count I'm aiming for, because my original estimate of 45K for this novel seems a little low. So I increased it to 50K. I may not get that far, but I'd rather be working up to it realistically than looking like I've gone over and above my target if I set it too low at the start.

Onwards and upwards - like my word count.

Camp update No 3

Camp update:

7/4/19 - 3256
8/4/19 - 2754
9/4/19 - 1167
10/4/19 - 0 (Zero. Nada. Nowt)
11/4/19 - 6456

Total words edited to date: 29,931

Yesterday was a busy day, church wise. I DID write, but at NIBS, not on the novel. So it wasn't a word-free day, just a non-novel day.

Today was a good writing day, as plans changed and I didn't get to do what I'd intended to this afternoon (the not so good bit) so I edited instead. I was also working on dialogue, and I can whizz through more of that in a session because there's usually less editing required here than on descriptions or action sections. (I think I must have a knack for dialogue - it comes easily in the first instance. It's all the rest of it that slows me down!)

I'm also very aware that I am getting close to the place I got stuck on for so long (until I wrote something really simple and passed over it for more exciting bits!) I'm fully expecting my pace to slow down noticeably then, as I'll be editing much rawer material.

Probably a good job I've already had a good day today, eh?

Camp NaNoEdMo update 2

So the 'update every day on the blog' thing isn't working... it's working out as every few days instead. But I'm still glad to be doing camp NaNoEdMo, because I've discovered that even an hour a day is enough to get anywhere between 1100 and 2500 words edited.

And it's not proving so hard to find an hour. Today I've done the hour early in the day, because we're cooking dinner for friends tonight and I need to get a lot of tidying and cleaning done before I even start going near the kitchen! More usually, I'm editing in the evening, when everyone else at home is doing their own thing.

Maybe being an almost-disciplined writer isn't completely beyond me...

Here's the update so far:
4/4/19 - 2483
5/4/19 - 1157
6/4/19 - 1902
Grand total edited so far: 16296 words.

My aim is for 45K words by the end of the month. I'm on track. Happy Squidge.

Camp update 1

I forgot to update yesterday... I had a cold and was feeling a bit rubbish, then a quarter of one of my teeth broke off. So I was not in a happy, blogging place.

Instead, I'm giving you a double update today:

2/4/19 - 1365
3/4/19 - 1533

which takes me to a grand total of 10,754 words edited.

Mind you, it's taken me this long - and the assistance of my cabin buddies on camp - to work out exactly where to update my stats on Camp NaNoWriMo. At one point I was minus 9K words!!

Onwards and upwards...

Camp NaNoEdMo and Project Black Ruby

I mentioned the other day that I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo as Camp NaNoEdMo this month.

I'd already started working on the edit over the weekend, and I figured that I'd include those figures in the camp totals, as I'm aiming to have completed the edit of Project Black Ruby by the end of April.

So on the first day of camp, I have posted 7856 words edited. I was honest - said that that's three days' worth - and I am planning to edit something every day until I'm done, even if that goes beyond the end of the month.

In fact, I think I'll post my stats on here every day too, to prove to anyone outside of my camp cabin that I'm making progress. It's not something I've done before, but it might help to keep me motivated. Especially if you all keep encouraging me!

So, for Project Black Ruby so far:
30/3/19 - 4924
31/3/19 - 1697
1/4/19 - 1253
Total: 7856 words edited.

Wolves and Apples 2018

Wolves and Apples is a programme of support for aspiring children's writers, managed by Mantle Arts, which includes conferences, master classes and training events.

Have to be honest - I'd not heard of them before and caught sight of the 2018 conference details on facebook; I knew the venue (St Martin's conference centre in Leicester city centre), it didn't cost the earth (just over £30 for a day ticket), and I hadn't been to York for two years and I felt in need of some writerly contact. It also included the opportunity to have a 1-2-1 with an agent or a publisher by submitting your work early.

I bet some of you are thinking 'but Squidge isn't aspiring - she's already published.' But I reckon you can always go along to these events and get something out of it, so I booked on.

It was a really good day. There was a variety of panels, talks and workshops from a mixture of authors, agents and publishers, and I would think about fifty people attending.

First decision of the day - what to wear. Which sounds daft, but as I've attended church-related trainings at the centre (it's run by Leicester Diocese and linked to the Cathedral) and experienced the literal highs and lows of the aircon there, I knew I needed to layer up! Felt a bit boring in a grey jumper and black jeans, so I decided it was a sparkly shoe day... (It's also something you learn when you go into schools; wear something distinctive and the kids remember you for it.)

Arrived in brilliant but cold sunshine to sign in and got the Best Conference Badge EVER!

Fab badge with *wipes away lone tear* my
'Cloudie notebook...

My first session was Dramatic Screenwriting for the Younger Audience with Jonathan Wolfman. He went through his top ten tips rather than a complete intro to the craft - I've written a few short scripts in my time, but nothing huge - and lots of them could be applied to novel writing too. And I have to say that, having watched much CBBC with the Squidgelings when they were little, I had a bit of a fangirl moment when I realised Jonathan was the person behind Tracey Beaker's Dumping Ground and Wolfblood! Here's his top ten...

1. Write with your heart. Rewrite with your head. Scripts take as many edits as novels, and they need to breathe, too. Apparently Jonathan knew Tracey Beaker had got where it needed to be when he made himself cry...
2. Everything is a metaphor. But for what? You need to discover the universal within your characters or situations - Children of the New Forest and Tracey Beaker are both essentially about loss of family for example. And that metaphor must resonate intuitively and instinctively with your audience. You could say it's like a theme in a novel.
3. Arcs within arcs within arcs. Each story has an arc, each act has an arc, each scene has an arc...just like in a novel.
4. Don't tread water, turn the story. In other words, keep the action gong!
5. Don't be subtle, be subtextual. Add depth, not obviousness.
6. Create characters within a moral architecture, not role models. Write for entertainment, not education - yes, Tracey Beaker didn't behave well all the time (and Jonathan had had many a discussion with parents who wouldn't let their kids watch the programme because her behaviour wasn't what they wanted to see in their own children) but she was brave and loyal and did things for the right reasons.
7. Make your characters EARN the resolution. How much pressure do you put them under and where are the big moments where they have to make a choice?
8. Don't do set-up scenes. Start within the story. Or - don't info dump!
9. Precinct dramas are the norm in TV. Mainly because nothing to do with children will ever have big money thrown at it, and setting the script in one main setting is cheaper, ultimately, to film than a globe-trotting extravaganza...
10. What to do when you're stuck. Go back to a moment of choice or a turning point and make the complete opposite happen.

The next session was Creative Collage-Making for Writers, with Jenny Alexander. It appealed because it offered the promise of more than just words, and as I'm a creative person in lots of different ways, I thought I'd pop along.

The premise is that as writers, we have two parts - the child and the adult, the playful and serious. The child is the creator, the adult is the one who pulls that creation into a useable form. But all too often in the creative process the 'adult' in us pokes their nose in too soon and stifles the 'child'. Jenny does a lot of work with writers to try to keep the adult out of the way - to allow the child in us to come up with solutions by allowing our subconscious to play. I've done a session like this before, with Shelley Harris at York, but that was all word based. With Jenny, we'd be using pictures.

We started with a question about our current WIP - I wrote 'What's the title of Tilda's first story?', because the working title is too obvious. And then we set that aside and tore text and pictures out of magazines. They just had to appeal to us... I found myself recognising scenes from the WIP in certain pictures, and tore away quite happily. Then we stuck them on a big sheet of paper...

With the finished collages in front of us, we started to write. Just 90 seconds each time, on the following:
1. Describe what you see in your collage.
2. Pick out five striking things.
3. Choose one of them and imagine yourself to be it. Describe yourself.
4. As that same object, write how you feel
5. Now write what you want.
6. And finally, what you fear...

It wasn't an easy thing to do - at stage 5, my adult brain kicked in, and I wrote 'how can I imagine what water wants, except to flow along the path of least resistance back to the sea from which I sprang - to my source? It's a bit ridic...'

But what seemed amazing was that everything linked back to that initial question - an initial conscious intention, a subconscious exercise, reflecting back on the conscious mind and possibly providing an answer. For me, I discovered through this that the Power in the story is central, not a particular person, so perhaps my new title needs to go down that route?

Other collages made by the group gave new insights into characters, or new angles to the stories they were telling, and Jenny shared some of her examples with us too. They were all very personal, unique, and useful. I was so impressed the technique, I bought one of Jenny's books, and will perhaps be trying out a few other exercises the next time I have  a burning question on the WIP!

The other book's from the cathedral bookshop,
and is still writing in a way; it's about writing prayers

Keeping with the non-wordy theme, I opted for Writing from Images with Pam Smy next. You've probably seen Pam's work without realising it, because she is an illustrator with lots of book covers under her belt - but she is also the author of Thornhill, a mould-breaking illustrated YA novel.

The crux of Pam's talk was that as a creative person, you need to be self-aware and confident, and our lives and experiences shape us until we are a mix of so many things that ultimately blend together to create the work we want to create. Which is something that applies to any creative field, not just writing or drawing. It was fascinating to see how Pam's love of illustration, of particular books, of landscape, of walking, of creating atmosphere, had all gone into the blender and produced this beautiful book. Incidentally, it took 4 years, 165 paintings and lots of hard work to put it all together.

Just some of the things that make Pam, Pam and add to her work

Oh - and remember Jonathan talking about metaphor? Thornhill is about bullying, and if you know where to look, there are hints from the very first picture in the book. (Hint: look for the cat, although he's not the only one)

I had a 1-2-1 over lunch with Ruth Huddleston of Old Barn Books. She was very complimentary about the sample I'd sent ("beautiful opening, great world building, you can certainly write,") but felt that I needed to really hone in on the theme of the book. I think I'm aware of that - just not sure how to find it in retrospect, because I wrote an adventure story ten years ago when I was less experienced and didn't even know you should have a theme... What was also rather lovely is that Ruth said my writing had a bit of a feel of Kiran Millwood Hargreaves (Girl of Ink and Stars), a book I read and enjoyed very much.

My view while munching on a tune mayo pannini...

After lunch, we listened to Anne Fine - yes, Anne Fine! - talk about What I Wish I'd Known From the Start. I have to be honest. I know Anne only through the shelves of the school library; she has written a lot of books, *whispers* but I've never read any of them, a fact that will be remedied ASAP. Now in her seventies, Anne is a lively and entertaining speaker, and lots of what she said would have applied to very many of us in the room. Like - work out how many hours you want to put in, and how many life allows you. Keep track of progress with your book, or it's easy to become disillusioned. Work on a physical copy when editing - it's easy to rearrange bits if you literally cut and paste. There's no one way to write a book - it's a product, not a process. Read your work over and over in lots of moods - that way, it'll appeal to more readers!

She also had some notes of caution, like 'your grandchildren will love anything you do, but not everyone is a writer!' And admitted that nowadays, she would probably not have had the career she has had, because she didn't know how publishing worked back in the day, and nowadays the 'bean counters' seem to have more of a say in what gets published and how authors are promoted than readers.

The last session was You Can't Take the Editor out of the Author... with Non Pratt. Non writes edgy contemporary YA novels, and she described how she became an author via becoming an editor. She writes for 14 year old Non - the Non who wanted to read stories that simply weren't being written at that time, so she wrote them herself.

She took us through her own writing process (lots of post it notes, notebooks, and coloured pens!) and how she approaches editing.

Now, Non said she wasn't a big planner - she knows the start and the end, and then fills in the middle exciting bits before she links them all together - but her editing is definitely planned! First stage is to Read (no pens allowed), Ruminate and React. Then she makes pace notes for every chapter before preparing a synopsis. The she sets to work, aiming to cut at least 20% from a first draft (aims for 80K...first drafts have been up to 500K!); review the timelines and seasons, reviews each character outline and check that your heart is in the book.

She was a great presenter and I can see exactly why she is such a hit with her teenage audience. She said in a later panel session that YA writing has to involve hope - teenagers will look for hope even in the bleakest of books - and they need to end the book knowing that they have the tools to survive and face life. I admire her for being able to write novels that achieve such a major result for their readers.

And that was it - a short panel session at the end to allow Q&A's to be put to many of the session leaders, and I was back on the bus in my sparkly shoes (one attendee admitted to shoe envy and I had quite a few other comments) and home to mull over everything I'd heard...and to write this blog.

This is what drafting a novel REALLY looks like...

I've been working on the second book of a series - working title The Black Diamond - and I suddenly realised how much I'm editing myself now as I write.

Perhaps it's just something that comes with experience, but I thought I would take the opportunity, before I get too deep into the editing, to show you the actual versions of what I recognise as my s****y first hand draft, my slightly less s****y first computer draft, and my first polish draft.

It might also serve to remind myself at some point in the future, when I'm writing book 3, that great writing doesn't just appear on the first go, especially when you begin a new project. I found myself getting really disheartened when I began this novel, because it had been a long time since I started anything genuinely new. (The first book in the series is a rework of an old story, so it needed less work than a real first draft...) It's hard to remember, when you're polishing and editing and making something read well, that it started life as something very, very different.

So to anyone who thinks they aren't writing well at the moment, take a look at this little section and the stages it's gone through - and tell yourself that there IS hope! Just stick at it.

Of course, other authors approach their draft stages very differently to me. I am not showing you my drafting because I'm saying it's how it SHOULD be done. I'm trying to demonstrate how a draft can be improved. 

Here goes. Don't expect to follow the story - I've selected a scene at random.

1. Hand drafted, in a notebook. 
Lots of scribbles, but the bones of the scene are there. No proper formatting, though strangely, there's more than is evident in the first computer draft; I've at least got paragraphs...

2. First write up on the computer.
There's no formatting, as I tend to just get the stuff down. I'm surprised I've even got a few speech marks... There's still some editing going on at this point, so it doesn't sound bad, but it doesn't read well. Yet.

 “It’ll be me first in the tub, Sparkles!” someone shouted, running past.

Startled, Tilda spun round, right into the middle of the walkway. 

“Watch out!”

Before she could move, someone else crashed into Tilda and she went sprawling.

She lay where she’d fallen, too choked on red dust to move, as a filthy young miner jumped quickly to his feet.

Dammit, Yan, he yelled. It was my turn tonight!

A whoop of triumph came from further down the road. Tilda rolled onto all fours and got shakily to her feet. I’m fine. Thanks for asking.

The miner rounded on her with a frown. You should look where you’re going. He snatched up a bag which must’ve fallen to the floor with him.

Anger heated Tilda’s cheeks. And you should walk on the pavement, she snapped, glaring at him.

You’d run too, believe me, he snarled. And set off at a jog after the disappearing Yan.  

Tilda, are you alright? I saw what happened. Duska hurried out of the shop.

Yes. Just dusty. Tilda tried to brush the owrst of it off. He barged straight into me, and all for some hot water.

Ah… To Tilda’s surprise, Duska laughed. You don’t want to get between a miner and his after shift bath. I’ve seen grown men fight over who’s next into the tub. They have races, you know, see who can get down and cleaned up the quickest.

I’ll make sure I’m out of the way for that, then. To Tilda’s horror, she felt her bottom lip tremble.

Duska must’ve noticed; she put a hand on Tilda’s shoulder. I think it might be best if we leave finding Feliks until tomorrow. Shall we go back? See if Sasha’s finished that floor yet?

Tilda nodded gratefully. Yes, please. She glanced down the road. She could still see the miner who’d crashed into her. I hope your bath water’s cold when you get in it, she muttered under her breath.

3. My first attempt at a polish up... 
It's formatted, I've played around with it a bit, but I won't do a proper edit on it until I've got to the end of the novel and all of it is to this standard.

            “It’ll be me first in the tub, Sparkles!” someone shouted, running past.

          Startled, Tilda spun round, right into the middle of the walkway. 

          “Watch out!”

          Before she could move, someone crashed into her and she went sprawling. She lay where she’d fallen, too choked on red dust to move, while a filthy young miner jumped quickly to his feet.

          “Dammit, Yan,” he yelled. “It was my turn tonight!”

          A whoop of triumph came from further down the road. Tilda rolled onto all fours and got shakily to her feet. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”

          The miner rounded on her with a frown. “You should look where you’re going.” He snatched up a bag which must’ve fallen to the floor with him.

          Anger heated Tilda’s cheeks. “And you should walk on the pavement, not run,” she snapped, glaring at him.

          “You’d run too, if you were me,” he snarled back, before jogging after the disappearing Yan.  

          “Tilda, are you alright? I saw what happened.” Duska hurried out of the shop.

          “Yes.” Tilda tried to brush the worst of the dust off. “He barged straight into me, and all for some hot water.”

          “Ah…” To Tilda’s surprise, Duska laughed. “You don’t want to get between a miner and his after shift bath. I’ve seen grown men fight over who’s next into the tub. They have races, you know, see who can get down and cleaned up the quickest.”

          “I’ll make sure I’m out of their way next time.” To Tilda’s horror, she felt her bottom lip tremble.

          Duska must’ve noticed; she put a hand on Tilda’s shoulder. “I think it might be best if we leave finding Feliks until tomorrow. Shall we go back? See if Sasha’s finished washing that floor yet?”

          Tilda nodded gratefully. “Yes, please.” She looked down the road; the miner who’d crashed into her was just turning a corner. “I hope your bath water’s cold when you get in it,” she told him, under her breath.

So there you go. That's my drafting process. I am finding too, that as I'm working on the first computer draft of this book, I get so far, then go back to do a section of polishing - but never so much that I haven't got a fair bit of the really naff, unformatted version to pick up from when I move the story forwards again. I suppose it's my built-in reminder of how I'm allowed to write 'badly' in the first pass...

Writing 'energy'

I am an author. I write.

But I'm not very disciplined, so I write when I can in the day, and try to write every day, even if it's not on the current novel.

However, I've noticed that I only seem to have a certain amount of 'writing energy'. By which, I mean the amount of time I can write for without my brain getting fuddled and needing a break on some other creative project.

That's part of the reason I've not been blogging so much recently. It's not that I've not been up to anything - far from it! Writing-wise, I've been putting together the text for a website, dealing with the history of Charnwood International camps (I wrote a couple of blogs about it after Charnwood 2016). I've also been editing Rurik-Reeka-Tilda for the umpteenth time - a task I set myself voluntarily which has now become rather more urgent as I've had some interest from a publisher and need to get it finished. Add to that sorting out NIBS writing exercises, tweaking some short stories for a couple of competitions, oh, and everything else that makes for a busy Squidge household, and the energy to write is spread too thin and becomes rapidly depleted.

I know it's all getting too much when I start to 'flit' from one thing to another, not really making headway on anything. 'Jack of all trades, master of none', isn't that how the saying goes?

What should be my priority? If I don't crack on with the current WIP, I won't have anything else to publish (fingers crossed). If I don't enter comps, I won't stand any chance at all of maybe, possibly, getting placed. And if I don't get the history finished, I'm letting someone down who's relying on me.

So, if I'm a little quieter on here over the next couple of weeks, you'll at least know it's because my writing energy is needed elsewhere, and not that I've given up blogging! Normal service should resume about Mid-March...

And just to prove I do do things other than write, here's a pic of me and Mr Squidge (along with George the dog and his owner!), planting hedgerow in a field. Cos, y'know, sometimes you just have to be doing something different...

Motivating characters

I've been working on Rurik since the summer. I think I might have mentioned in previous blogs that I'm changing 'he' to a 'she' and working through some quite major plot holes which I discovered.

Now, bearing in mind that this story was written way, way back (it went through major editing in 2012 after the self edit course, which took place after it (and me) had been rejected by an agent I was working with), there were bound to be some issues. I accept that. Since 2012, I have changed a lot in how I write and what I write. Of course Rurik was going to need a polish. Or another edit.

Or, actually, an almost complete rewrite in places.

I've been slowly working through and making the changes I think the writing needs to bring it all into line with how I write NOW.

Three chapters from the end, I've found an issue. A real biggie; my MC has no motivation. I need to motivate her.

No, I said I need to motivate her, not Mr Motivator. (remember him?) * face palm *

I suddenly realised that my MC has been forced into a situation not of her making. From there on, she is carried by a series of situations through to the climax - which is where I'm at in the edit. Problem is, the MC is a spectator, an onlooker, pretty much all the way through. She does not affect the action by her decisions. Weeeell, she does a bit. But not nearly enough to give her an over-riding motivation to drive the story forward.

It's a classic rookie error - probably because I was a rookie when I initially wrote the story. To make the story really zing, I need, as the lovely Julie Cohen would say, to 'Make Shit Happen!'

The only problem is, how can you put motivation into a story in retrospect?

I've tried sitting with my notebook to work it out. I've written pages and pages of questions to myself about my MC and why she would do the things she's doing in the story. 

But maybe it's not myself I need to be asking... Maybe...I need to ask Reeka, my MC.

You might think that sounds a bit barmy, but I've spoken to several authors who, when they get stuck, interrogate their characters. I know from experience that when I get to know my characters well, they start doing their own thing in the story, and I simply write it all out for them. (If you want to see what I'm talking about, check out this blog post at The Write Practise, and especially read the comments. That's where authors have posted the answers to the interrogation they gave some of their characters.)

So I think that me and Reeka are going to have to have a little chat to sort this motivation thing out...

Hope she's still speaking to me by the end of it all.

Put your best foot forward...

I've an excuse for being a bit quiet on the blog recently - the next round of edits arrived for Kingstone, so I've been working through them to make sure Bink have the completed and polished version in plenty of time for publication in June.

I've still been scribbling, though: I've entered a couple of competitions with some flash and a couple of short stories I've written for other things (I don't usually go for comps as they can be very expensive, but these are local and somewhat cheaper than usual) and I've been scribbling with NIBS.

Last month's theme for NIBS was feet.

We kicked off with a description of a walk, and there were plenty to go on... A favourite walk on the parade at Wells-next-to-Sea; a walk in shared silence with a family member; favourite moments from walks with the dog; a walk to school, and a list of sayings which involve walking - like 'a walk in the park', 'walk this way', Ministry of Silly Walks' and so on.

Then we had some story openers, choosing one from the following:
One more step...
Her feet were killing her...
There was something on her shoe...
The floorboards creaked under her feet...
The bloody footprints led to the basement door...

I chose 'one more step' and wrote a rather fractured piece about a rogue muck raker robot that had its 'head' knocked off by a farmer... I know. Bananas!

And then we turned to pictures for our final task. You know the saying, 'If you want to understand a man, you have to walk a mile in his shoes'? I thought it'd be a good idea to find some photos of different shoes and we could write about either the people who they belonged to, or the shoes themselves.

However, in my quest for something a bit different to farmer's boots or slippers or stilettos, I typed in 'Ridiculous shoes'.

Oh. Boy.

I found centaur feet shoes. Rattlesnake cowboy boots. Winged biker boots. And then I found a pair of crocodile shoes. So here's my short story for you to enjoy...


Crocodile Shoes.

The advert seemed innocent enough.

One pair crocodile shoes. Worn once. Size 7. £15. Collection only.

Crocodile costs. You've seen those designer bags...hundreds of pounds, if not thousands. And here's a pair of shoes going for less than twenty quid? Fashionistas like me know a bargain when they see it. I whipped the card off the noticeboard and rang the number as soon as I got home.

"Yes, we've still got them. Cash only. Bartock's Shoes. Midden Way. Behind the Post Office, you can't miss us."

The windows were streaked with grime and plastered inside with brown paper and flattened out shoe box lids. I pushed the door open and walked in.

"I've come to collect the crocodile shoes."

"Oh yes. Money?"

I counted out three plastic fivers.

A wooden shoe box - wooden? - was thrust into my hands, and I was outside and on the pavement before I could say "thank you", propelled by hands that felt even keener than my own.

"But - " I turned back.

The open sign flicked to closed.

I trudged home in the rain, clutching my bargain to my chest, resisting the urge to peek. The wait would only increase the pleasure...

Inside at last, I prised the lid loose, shut my eyes and held my breath as I slipped my hand inside.

Snap!

I screamed and snatched my hand back, staring in disbelief at three fingers and two bloody stumps.

Crocodile shoes. They weren't kidding, were they?