The Laugh Your Socks Off Tour with Jeremy Strong

You can't not have heard of Jeremy Strong: he is probably one of the funniest writers of children's books. Ever. Today, I went to see him with my son (the also-aspiring author) at our Town Hall.

Jermy Jermany Jeremy - apparently a lot of children struggle to spell his name - was as funny in person as his books are to read. He regaled us with stories of his 'studio' (half a garden shed decked out as his writing room, but beware the blue door!) how he tipped the neighbour's baby out of the pram when he was 8 (Jeremy, not the baby), and how his latest book - My Brother's Famous Bottom gets Crowned! - was conceived well before the current royal bump made an appearance.

The children in the audience were giggling all the way through as a result of Jeremy's impressions of the dinosaurs who used to teach him and how he scoots across the studio floor on his wheeled computer chair to get chocolate from the fridge. (If there are teachers reading this, whose pupils come into school on Monday and insist they must have a fridge filled with chocolate in the classroom - blame Jeremy. He works better after a snack, and the kids agreed with him).

I knew Jeremy was a prolific author - my personal favourites of his are the Erik the Viking and famous bottom series - but I was surprised to hear he's written 99 books and is working on his 100th. It was good to know that even he struggles sometimes; The Beak Speaks caused him difficulty when he got half way through the book and realised he couldn't have the boy narrator he'd chosen from that point on, because the boy didn't know about the thing he was supposed to be talking about! Jeremy had to devise a second narrator who could know those things and intertwine the two voices throughout the whole novel. My own plotting problems paled into insignificance compared to that scenario.

I'm not sure what the creative writing workshop was like afterwards - my son felt a little self conscious among the younger children, so he queued to get Invasion of the Christmas Puddings signed, and we left, both of us entertained and quite content.

Mind you, I've just heard him call his Dad 'silly sausage moo-cow'. We've got Jeremy to thank for that, too.

What does Teddy do while you're at school?

I'm a learning support assistant at a local primary school, but as the Y6 child I work with was at their induction day at senior school, today I helped in a Y2 class instead.

The topic was 'bears', and the writing task was 'What does your teddy do at home when you are at school?' The little girl I was supporting insisted that I filled in a sheet; in fact, she brought me two, and started me off on the one with the closest lines so I'd have to write more!

Her teddy was 'very very good and like a aynjel. And reads books.'

Here's what mine gets up to...

'My teddy is called Bunny. He is very old. He has patchwork trousers and a pink waistcoat. He sleeps in a cupboard, but when I'm at school, I think he plays with my cat.
They play chase and hide-and-seek, and for lunch Bunny has lettuce and tomato sandwiches while Timmy (the cat) has tuna.
They like colouring. Bunny draws green fields and trees, but Timmy makes paw print patterns. When they are tired, they like to read books. They like Peepo best as it rhymes and there are pictures to look at.'

So, tell me - what does teddy do while you are 'at school'?

Rurik. Almost there...

The story I'm working on at the moment is in the final stages of editing - oops! upcycling. I've done a fair few chapters today, but decided to stop, because I've reached the climax and need to reshuffle a few characters around in a vital scene. That requires a lot more brainpower than going through the marked-up manuscript for rampant ellipses and incorrect semi-colons. (I only learnt how to use them properly a few weeks ago! *embaressed*).

If I manage to complete everything by the end of next week, then I can begin to prepare my 3000 word submission for the Festival of Writing in September. There, the start of Rurik's story will be laid bare before both a book doctor and an agent. 

It's a terrifying prospect, because stories are subjective. What you might like to read, I might not. And vice versa. The same goes for the agents; they need to be enthused and bowled over by what I write to sign me up and present the novel to publishers. To date, although I worked with an agent for two years, (we've recently parted company) my first novel 'StarMark' and Rurik haven't been deemed commercial enough to submit. 

Thing is, I'm not writing because I'm after fame or fortune (though I will accept both, graciously, if offered them) - I'm in it for the kids and the love of a good story. I've received good feedback on both novels and am certain that what I've written would appeal to 8-12 year olds, my target audience. 

Fingers crossed that Rurik's story will one day make it onto the page, and to the youngsters it was written for.

The Ultimate Blog Challenge

Probably not the done thing, to post twice in one day, but a fellow cloudie, Saintly Writer, mentioned she's signed up to this challenge.

I know I'm a couple of days late in, but I've signed up too, as it'll help my aim to blog daily - at least till I get the hang of things...

So here's to a July full of blogging!

The Pink Violin.

Today, my daughter took her Grade 5 ABRSM violin exam.

She's an amazing musician by the way - plays the descant and treble recorders, guitar (she's strumming K.T. Tunstall's 'You're the other side of the world' while I'm typing!), piano, and has also tried viola and harp. Given the chance, I'm sure she'd pinch her brother's double bass...

(I'm quite envious - I can sing, sort of, but I have to learn everything by ear as I'm no good at reading music. I did play the drums for a while, but keeping a beat is easy by comparison.)

Anyway, while waiting for J to come out of the exam, I got talking to a fellow parent. His daughter was taking her Grade 1 exam - on a baby-pink, personalised-with-her-name-and-a-mermaid-picture, violin. 'Well,' said the dad, 'you've got to have fun doing these things, haven't you?' I totally agree - having a funky instrument might do wonders in enticing the child to practise...

I replied that we were going to buy J a purple recorder, because she's hoping to play with a local Border Morris group whose costumes are black, silver and purple. 

After seeing that pink violin, I'm now thinking through what I can do to personalise a purple recorder! 

It's in the genes?

Today, my son brought home a book of poetry: The Poetry Games - poems from the East Midlands, published by YoungWriters. His poem, 'RainForest', is just one of hundreds in the book, but he is understandably chuffed to see his name in print.

He's also a pretty good artist and has already expressed a desire to become a writer and illustrate his own books.

D'you reckon we'll be able to cope with two writers in the house?

Tea with Sir Terry.

If I could pick just one writer to have tea with, it'd be Sir Terry Pratchett. I'm a big fan of his - especially of the Discworld novels.

There's something about his alternative universe that never fails to grab me - whether it's the humour, the larger-than-life characters, the poignancy of certain scenes, or the reinterpretation of modern life into something a little more medieval and magical which remains utterly believable. In fact, it's Sir Terry's ability to take the everyday and twist it that inspired my own story, Follow the Yellow Sick Toad; it was a deliberate attempt at 'Pratchettesque'. (If ever you read it, you'll have to let me know whether I succeeded; it's definitely not in Sir Terry's league, but I do know it raised a few laughs from some readers.)

Over a cup of Earl Grey and a toasted crumpet or two, I'd ask Sir Terry where he finds inspiration for his characters, and once they're born, how on earth does he keep track of them all? Could Ankh-Morpork host a Discworld Olympics to rival London 2012? Will Nanny Ogg make another fortune from her cookbook? And could Lord Vetinari ever be outwitted?

But that's me and Sir Terry - if you could have tea with any writer, living or dead, who would it be and what would you ask them?