Tweaking!

For regular readers of Squidge's Scribbles, you may notice I've had a play with a few things! Nothing major - I've just finally had time to work out how to do a blog list, and allow folk to translate my various musings if English isn't their first language...

I decided to remove the 'wannabe' from the sub-heading too. I am not a wannabe any more - I am, after all, a published author. I may not have hit the big time, but my stories are out there to read, in real books.

About time I started to recognise that.

Writing time at last - so why am I not writing?

Today, I've got time to write!

T is back at school (albeit still part-time), the ironing pile has been dealt with at last, the house has at last had a thorough clean, I've sorted through the post and my other half is packing for a weekend away. So now, I have - what? - three or four hours to get back to what I love doing.

And you know what? I am a bit scared to even start.

Not because of all the usual fears that I wrote about the other day, but because my life has experienced such upheaval and uncertainty recently, I can't help wondering whether even more unexpectedness will jump out of the woodwork to immediately demand my attention and thwart my efforts to get the words down?

It must be something in my character - I used to get a similar feeling when the kids were babies. Remember the days when you had to do night feeds, with the first one around midnight? Not enough time to get some decent kip before you have to wake up again - so I didn't use to go to bed until after that first feed. I just didn't see the point. As a result, I ended up even more cream-crackered  - entirely through my own fault.

When I finished working at school, I told myself that I would be more disciplined about writing; I have to learn to force myself to write. Whatever my fears about interruptions, I have to keep producing words or risk losing what I've already achieved. And I don't want to become a writer who says "Well, I could have..."

I want to be a writer who says "I did."

Should this be my motto?

PS. I've a little less time now I've got that off my chest...but I am going to do some writing now!

Self-publishing - a couple of thoughts.

Chuck Wendig has done it again - dropped a huge dose of reality into my lap.

His blog today is '25 steps to becoming a self-published author', and if you're a regular reader of Squidge's Scribbles, you know it's something I've been toying with, particularly for Granny Rainbow, but also because of Rurik.

I'm right with Chuck when he says 'get an editor'. No-one - and I really mean no-one - can look at their own writing and see all the mistakes and glitches they've missed. (And I'm not just talking about spelling mistakes here - I'm talking head-hops, plot holes, unnecessary info, strange phrases...) Hopefully, given time and experience, there will be less to spot, but there will always be something. I learnt such a lot from professional editing of my novels - in most cases by the editrix herself, Debi Alper, (via Writer's Workshop) but also through beta readers, my trusted author friends.

Still with Chuck on the subject of book cover design. Make it good, peeps! And make sure the standard of your content matches that of the super-duper cover. But don't be tempted to cobble something together yourself if you don't have the skills - use friends who are graphic designers or pay for concepts. Personally, I like the covers of series where colour or images link the different stories, rather than detailed images. A simple concept, but it can still make the series instantly recognisable. In my dreams, Rurik's story will be published as five separate books; all the covers will have five interlocked silver rings on them, set within a black circle on a different plain coloured background, where the colour represents the region where that particular story takes place...  

There was one thing that really got me thinking, especially if I do go ahead and plunge into the murky waters of self-publishing. Chuck wrote (with a couple of tweaks by me to keep it clean!) 'Target readers. They’re your gatekeeper now. Don’t build an audience: earn your audience. Find where they are and talk to them — not above them as if on some platform but among them because you are them. (The best writers are also readers, after all.) Get a website. Let that be your central space. Use social media to talk to people, not at people... Stand out. Be the best version of yourself. Try lots of things. Don’t be a jerk.'

It made me realise that it's not enough just to say 'I write for children' and expect the books to wing their way into eager pre-pubescent hands. (Anyone who's ever been into a school to listen to kids read will know that there are lots of reluctant readers out there - the Wii or PlayStation is a much more appealing prospect for entertainment.)

Children need to be exposed to stories - and the age range I write for, 8-12 years, is possibly in that awkward gap where parents are still buying most of the books for their kids - but the kids are starting to realise what kind of thing they really, REALLY want to read. (I'm not a big fan of action books, for example. My son and daughter were 9 and 11 when they got heavily into young James Bond and the Power of Five etc etc. All my suggestions about trying a nice classic, or a fantasy for a change, went out the window.)

This means I'd have to earn two different audiences: adults and kids. Adults might set a load of store by reviews and recommendations, but kids will want to hear/read the stories for themselves, so that could mean a whole load of school/library visits.

Interesting - and probably the part of the self-pubbing process which needs much more thought on my part. Made me wonder - if you were to self-pub your work, which part would you have to really think about?

Writers write writerly advice.

Couldn't resist sharing this - lots of writers who've taken pictures of their hands with writing advice written on them.

Check out Garth Nix - even he has a magic ring! So, I figure, maybe Rurik can have one too.

Rings - has Tolkien cornered the market?

So - a few days ago, I had a very kind rejection from an agent for Rurik. Basically, I was told my writing looked good, but he couldn't see 'rings' selling.

For those who don't know Rurik, the story is about a ring of power that is separated from four other rings (to which it is linked) and hidden by its bearer to prevent the baddie taking all their power for himself; it's up to Rurik, the main character, to find the hidden ring and return it to the rightful owner.

But as soon as I mention 'rings', a phantom rises up to haunt me - Tolkien. I have rings in my story, therefore it's too much like LOTR or The Hobbit.

I don't think so.

But the novel seems to be consistently judged against that one idea. Unfair it may seem - but the agent/publisher has to make money out of my words, so they need a unique selling point. Mind you - how many boy wizard stories followed on from Harry Potter? Or vampiric love stories after Twilight? Or diary-type novels after Diary of a Wimpy Kid? What makes rings so untouchable after Tolkien? Apart from the fact he was a genius and his books are classics, of course.

Anyway - the subject has been broached before, several times and by different people, about changing the rings for some other object of power. I have played with a few ideas, but I keep coming back to rings, mainly because they fit the story - and to be honest, the thought of rewriting to fit a new and different object into the novel fills me with despair. I have edited and rewritten this story so many times - to improve the storyline generally so it became entirely stand-alone instead of the first part of a five-stage quest, to include an agent's suggestions (which once included, they decided they didn't want either the story or me after all), and to act on suggestions received via a professional critique.

I still believe in the story. I think it has legs, even if it IS about rings of power. But the commercial world doesn't seem to think the same.

So what do I do? Stick to my guns and hope that someone, somewhere will see beyond the Tolkien connection? Self-publish and be damned? Give it all up and start something totally new and unique and off-the-wall?

*sigh*

I just don't know what to do for the best...

Fear - and writing

I've read a couple of posts recently, about writers and fear. 

Andrea Phillips, guesting on terrible minds, wrote about the four fears that stop you writing...and after a whole summer without writing much at all, topped off with an agent rejection for Rurik because the story is about rings, (and apparently Tolkien and Wagner have cornered that market), I am very much feeling The Fear. 

Andrea used four categories, which pretty much seem to cover everything about The Fear. Here's how they eat away at me. Some, more than others...

1. Fear about (lack of) talent.

I am so hard on myself. I write my stuff, then I compare it to the work of someone who writes more action, more quirkily, more descriptively, more...everything! And my inner critic says - 'you're rubbish.'

I enter competitions and never allow myself to consider the possibility of being placed, because there will be a million others all entering the same thing who can string words together in a way that will make the reader go all gooey like I never can. I might as well save myself the cost of an entry fee.

It's a risk, letting people see what I've written. Especially when, as a writer, there is so much of 'me' in what I write about. But if I don't take risks, I'll never know what could have been. And if I don't enter any competitions, ever, I can say with 100% confidence that the chances of being placed are definitely zero.

So I keep writing, trying new things, testing myself and my capabilities.

2. Fear about feedback.

I am now a little more restrained regarding who I ask for feedback, having been bitten a few times by folk who told me how I should write/they would write a scene, instead of suggesting ways of improving it. I have some writer friends whose opinion I trust, and the rest fall into the category of 'take with a pinch of salt unless they all say the same thing or what is said makes sense'. And - shock! horror! - even the opinions of agents and book doctors sometimes fall into the latter category...

That's not to say I ignore feedback - a writer ignores feedback at their peril, and should be constantly striving to improve what they lay down on the page.

And feedback often confirms gut feeling, which I really should learn to trust more.

3. Fear about publication.

If no-one in the professional publishing world can make money out of me ('lacks commercial sparkle' seems to be a consistent theme for my full-length children's novels) then to get my stories to the kids I think will enjoy them, I have got to go it alone.

Self-publish.

Oh.
My.
Gosh.

The traditional route to publication meant I didn't have to think about formatting or cover design or promotion or sales. Self-pub does, and it turns me into a quivering wreck who would rather bury her head in the sofa cushions and never write again than face going it alone.

Which brings me full circle to the risk-factor - if no-one wants to do it for me, then I'll have to do it myself to find out whether kids really would want to read my stories.

4. Fear about being judged.

I know my writing isn't always brilliant, but can I bear others thinking the same thing? Will my work wither and die quietly, like an unfunny comedian? Will it get slated by people I want to impress? Will anybody, anywhere on this planet, actually ever read anything I produce, because they take one look at the title/blurb/cover and go 'Nah!

If I thought like that all the time, I'd never write.

Perhaps I need to add a little something to the famous song from 'La Cage aux Folles' - 'I am what I am'; I am what am I am, and I write how I write.



Having read that lot through, I've just realised something; if I stay true to myself and my story, writing to the best of my ability, then the only judge I have to fear is the one inside my own head.

The Fear will only stop me writing if I let it..

So I'm not going to.  

Saying it with flowers - The Flower Festival

Yesterday, I spent the day telling stories. Not with words - with flowers.

It's not easy to interpret with flowers; the circle of life, for example - sounds like a good title, but do you create something circular, or focus on the seasons, or maybe celebrate birth, life and death? You could take a roomful of flower arrangers, and they'd all have a slightly different take on the subject. The trick is to find something that connects with your audience, rather than leaving them standing bemused in front of a fabulous display that cannot be 'read'.

I'm one of the flower arranging team at my church, and for the last dozen years or so, we've held a flower festival every three years. This year is special, as we are celebrating the 125th anniversary of the church building with 'A Tapestry of Time'.

Please forgive me - but I am going to indulge, and share some photos of the flower festival so you can judge whether or not the flower team have 'told the story'...

St Mary, to whom the church is dedicated - although no-one is actually sure which St Mary we were dedicated to, it's always been taken that it's Mary, the mother of Jesus.

Changes to the building - it certainly isn't as originally built.

The church's year - in colour.

Victorian versus modern vicar.

Music in the church.

Your Majesty - the church has seen the reign of six monarchs already.

Hatch, match and despatch.

A country church - Plough Sunday, Rogation and Harvest.

  

The text on the sampler reads 'To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.'

Mission - the charities our church supports.

So - what do you think? Did we tell our 'stories' well enough?