On the one hand, I'm on an incredible high; I've had the very exciting news about StarMark, am prepping More Granny Rainbow for publication, and I've got four author events lined up over the next month or so. (Harry Potter Book Night on the 5th Feb at The Reading Shop, celebrating National Library Day on the 7th Feb, and two school visits, if you were interested.)
Writing-wise, I'm not feeling the same. I've got an idea bubbling away for a short story for the second Random Writers anthology, but otherwise things are a bit stuck. I've got Rurik, who is written but I'm not sure what to do with him - edit, like I did StarMark, or self-pub as is?
And then I've got a half-written novel which has stalled, big-time.
'Ani's story' (working title!) has a broad theme. It has characters who are beginning to make themselves known to me, and it has an animal POV popping up ocassionally. I know what's going to happen to my MC and how to resolve her issues. BUT - and it's a big but - I cannot make the storyline believable. I can't pull everything I want to include together enough to make a credible story. I've got about 18,000 words down so far of a s****y first draft, but when I sit down to flesh it out, I get tied up in knots and stop writing. Pantsing just isn't working this time...
So today, I concentrated on firming up the plot. I spent hours on it, the result of which is a good dozen pages of A4 filled with what-ifs and questions, that have not supplied a single satisfactory solution in any of them. I tried writing out the characters a la Ally Spencer and still can't discover certain characters' motivations for their actions. I've even tried to run the ideas past the kids..."Sorry Mum, got homework to do."
And that's when you realise this writing lark's a pain in the proverbial. On the one hand, it promises the highs of publication, of creating something other-wordly and unique, of talking to your readers, (I won't say fans, but if they like your writing enough...). And just when you're riding the crest, it slams you with a wall that you have to break through in order to create that which might be published or enjoyed by readers.
Today, it's felt like an impossible task. Some would say keep going - get the words down and you can polish them later. Others would tell me to keep mulling - let the ideas percolate and something will come... Today, neither are working, and the writing demon at my shoulder is telling me I need to get it right before I go any further.
Tomorrow, things might feel different. I flippin' well hope so.
|The roller coaster of writing...|