As regular readers are probably aware, I'm not writing a new story this month - I'm NaNoEdMo-ing. That is, editing my WIP: Kingstone. It seems to be going well.
Here, for your amusement, are the first 1000 words of Kingstone, a fantasy adventure novel for 9-12 year olds, third draft.
King Bertrann’s
ship slid past Indigon’s famous purple-grey cliffs, far enough out to avoid the
deadly rocks jumbled at their base, yet near enough for those on deck to make
out the black holes of the mine entrances pockmarking them.
A bubble of happiness swelled inside
Katia’s chest at the sight. Home at last, after six months that had felt like a
lifetime. Thank the gods she hadn’t had to wait the full two years to return,
unlike those she’d left behind at the Academy. No wonder they’d made things so uncomfortable
for her after the announcement.
Mind you, no-one had been more
surprised than Katia herself, when she was told she’d be part of the king’s
entourage for this unexpected and hastily arranged trip; she wasn’t exactly top
of any classes and there were plenty of other novices who deserved the honour
much more than she did.
But – and this was the important
thing to remember – you didn’t say no to the king’s priest when she picked you
for something. Not if you wanted to get on in the temple. And more than
anything else, Katia wanted to get on…
Tiny
lights twinkled high up on the cliffs, lighting the wooden walkways which connected
the separate indigolite caverns. Somewhere up there, Katia’s Da and brother Ned
would be nearing the end of their ten hour shift, having worked hard to earn
their money.
A pang of guilt stabbed at Katia but
she squashed it quickly. It wouldn’t be wasted effort on their part, not if she
tried really hard–
“It looks as though the rock is
sparkling.”
“Gods!” Katia yelped, and with more
haste than care made the greeting to the woman who’d appeared noiselessly at
her side.
Right
hand, circle for the sun. Left, a crescent round the circle for the moon. Now fingertips
of both hands together: mountain.
The woman sighed. “Left for sun,
right for moon, Katia. Like the symbol.”
“Sorry.” Katia dug her nails into
her palms and hid the fists deep in the folds of her skirt. She was still getting
it wrong, even after six months at the Academy. Her right hand took the lead
every time… She sneaked a sideways glance at Elder Sevanya, whose attention was
fixed on the lights high above them.
How did the king’s priest manage to
look so perfect, even after days of travelling? Sevanya’s purple dress was
uncreased, her grey travelling coat unmarked by salt, and her pale hair was
still tightly braided – as expected of Senior and Elder female priests.
By comparison, Katia’s own cream
novice’s robe was watermarked at the hem and stained with gravy because plates
refused to stay still on board a ship. There was a button missing from her
brown wool coat and her hair was sticking out at all angles despite every
attempt she’d made to tame her dark curls. No wonder her fellow novices were
always finding fault and telling her she’d never make it to Junior priest…
The beads woven into the ends of Sevanya’s
braids rattled quietly when she turned away from the cliffs. “Tell me, Katia, have
you ever been up there, on the walkways?”
“Yes, Elder. Once, at night.” Katia
shivered, remembering the sheer drop to the rocks and sea, hundreds of feet
below. “My brothers bet I was too scared, but I went to the first entrance and
back. At least the wind wasn’t blowing when I did it. Da says when the wind
blows strong, the miners hug the cliff face and make sure their safety straps
are clipped to the ropes, otherwise they’d get blown off.”
“I should think a fair few prayers
get said to the mountain god, asking for firm footing up there.”
“Definitely. I know I said lots.” Katia
tried to ignore the fact that Sevanya was watching her closely. She had the
feeling that the priest was looking for something, but what?
Suddenly, Sevanya sighed. “Katia,
are you sure that you want to give your life to the temple of the triple gods?
You don’t have to be a novice to say prayers, you know.”
“What?” For a moment, Katia was so
startled, she couldn’t say anything else. The bubble of happiness which had
filled her chest just moments previously burst, leaving a hollow sick feeling
in the pit of her stomach. “Yes, of course I do,” she managed eventually. “It’s
all I’ve ever wanted.”
“And your family? Is it what they
want for you too?”
She had to think hard before
answering that one. “No, not at first.” In fact, they’d positively discouraged
her, thinking the training beyond her and far too expensive. “But once they got
used to the idea, they supported me completely.”
By
taking on extra jobs and working all hours the gods sent, scrimping to make
ends meet, and standing up against those who thought your dream was impossible to
achieve…
“But things are not going very well for
you at the academy, are they?”
“No, but–” Katia swallowed hard. How
did Sevanya know that? Surely keeping track of the novices and their training
wasn’t a job for someone in her position?
“Your tutors have repeatedly informed
me of your poor progress. It is that which made me decide to bring you on this
journey.”
They
picked you because you’re so bad?
Katia
tried to concentrate on what Sevanya was saying through the buzzing in her
ears.
The
priest looked serious. “I am sorry to say that, during our time here, if you
cannot demonstrate to my satisfaction the duties expected of a novice after your
first six months of training, I shall have no option but to leave you behind
when we return to Eraton and consider your novitiate at an end.”
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