I've not been idle - oh no! But what have I been doing instead, I hear you ask? Well...for those who remember The Fast Show...
This week, I 'ave been mostly editing.
Every spare minute, the laptop's been on, I've plugged the memory stick in, and set to work on StarMark. And you know what (sorry if I'm banging on about this) - it feels pretty good. I am currently at page 120 of 190ish and going strong.
There are certain things in the process that I've noticed are very different this time. Perhaps, having left this story for three years in a drawer, my writing ability has improved over time...Perhaps I'm more familiar with the storyline...Perhaps...oh, I dunno!
You be the judge! (And I have no idea why the text has gone doo-lally later on - apologies again! I've tried to sort it but without success...)
1. I seem to have found my writer's voice - the real one, the one that says 'Katherine wrote this.'
The strange thing is that I seem to be taking out all the big authorly words and simplifying the text. I find myself looking at the text and thinking 'That sounds so pretentious! How would you say it to get the important bits across in that scene?'
Previously...
Irvana looked to
where Matild indicated. The trees appeared to be thinning, the green gloom
giving way to dappled sunlight, until suddenly the forest lay behind them and a
magnificent view was revealed. She shaded her eyes from the glare of the sun, and
gazed in wonder.
The road wound
down from the forest edge through fields of swaying corn, towards the foot of
an imposing cliff. At its base, fortified walls contained the hundreds of buildings
which clung to the steep slope sweeping up from a busy harbour towards the
rock. Where the gradient became almost vertical, there were no houses, but the
natural fortress this created was topped by walls of gleaming stone. Excitement
sent shivers of anticipation through Irvana’s body. So this was the city….it
surpassed everything that she had imagined.
Irvana gripped
the sides of the jolting cart and leaned round Matild. The trees appeared to be
thinning, the green gloom of the forest giving way to dappled sunlight, until suddenly
the trees lay behind them. She squinted in the bright glare of the sun and
gazed in wonder at what lay before them.
The road wound right from the forest edge and down, through
fields of swaying corn, towards the foot of an imposing cliff. At the base of
the cliff was the city, its fortified walls wrapped tight around hundreds of buildings.
The houses clung to a steep slope which swept up from a busy harbour, towards the
point where the gradient became almost vertical; the natural fortress this created
was topped by walls of pale gleaming stone.
2. Certain characters are acting differently.
Irvana, my MC, isn't quite the nicey-nice and two-dimensional girl she used to be. There's more depth to her, we know more of what she's thinking and experiencing; that infamous psychic distance that is so hard to do but so brilliant when you get it right! Mind you, I'm not saying for one minute that I HAVE got it right, but it certainly feels more right than it did before.
Previously...
Irvana stared at
the rows of bottles stacked behind the bar, feeling stupid and small and fighting
to contain the panic rising in her chest. Of course Matteuw would be an old man
by now – just like Gwendara had been an old woman. Gwendara had died...was he
dead too? Her one chance to discover more about her parents was slipping away,
and Irvana realised just how much she had hoped to find Matteuw so that he
could tell her all the things Gwendara never had. But more importantly, if she
couldn’t find him, what on earth was she going to do?
He wasn’t here! Irvana stared at the rows of bottles stacked behind the bar, seeing none of them. Why wasn’t he here? She felt panic rising in her chest, tightening its hold on her lungs and making it hard to breathe. Was Matteuw old, older than Gramma? She’d died...was he dead too? Irvana gripped the bar tightly as her knees buckled, desperately trying to stay upright. Her one chance in the city, her opportunity to find out about her parents…gone. What was she going to do now?
Before, I'd have approached editing as a way of making the writing sound right...which isn't actually the same as making it sound how I'd probably say it if I was to tell you the story verbally. See - that's the voice thing coming through again. I can't really give you an example, except to say that in a week, I've edited 2/3rds of a 64,000 word manuscript without going back to tinker! Except for a last look-through in the 'read' layout; making the words look like a real book page does wonders for picking things up. I've even managed to sort out my 'm' and 'n' dashes and apostrophes, especially as one character in particular will keep dropping her aitches! (Also discovered that if you write h'er and delete the h afterwards, the apostrophe's the right way round and saves you having to copy and paste! Joy!)
So what now?
Part of my eagerness to get this edit done stems from the fact that there are several open submission months coming up for agents and indie presses...and I'm toying with the idea of sending StarMark out again. I know I said I wouldn't, but I want to see whether this version gets the 'too nice' response again.
The other reason is that publishing Granny Rainbow has given me the confidence to publish a full length novel as well. Sure, it could still crash and burn and folk might hate it. But having published once, I know I can do it again. Even if this time, there are different problems. I'm already toying with ideas for the cover...
So there you have it - a quiet week on the Scribbles, but not a quiet week for the Scribbler herself. And there's still 1/3 of the MS to go, so if I'm a bit quiet over the next week or so, at least you know why...
Brilliant blog, Katherine, and I agree with you. When we start out as writers, we think we're at school and have to write a clever-sounding essay. In both cases, the second extracts are improvements and sound more natural. I'd say go for it with the submissions!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Katrina! Really glad you think the 'now' bits sound better...goodness knows what I'd have done if anyone thought they sounded worse!
DeleteWhat an interesting post and thank you for sharing the extracts. I agree the recent passages are better, much more immediate and direct. I have always been able to adopt different 'accents' for different types of writing very easily, but about two years ago I went through a period of intense blogging which helped me to find my own authentic voice. Very, very simple and conversational. People who know me say it is just like having me on the sofa talking to them. It has changed my life and enabled me to write my first book, which needs to get out there now!
ReplyDeleteWowser, Harriet - that's some achievement! And yes, I know what you mean about the blogging helping to find the voice...
DeletePlenty things occurred to me as I read this - one, that 'authorial voice: someone told me that if it's been said before you need to change it so it's not the same, hence my too often mangled and OTT phrasing.
ReplyDeleteTwo - that PD thing ... ye gods sometimes it's so hard to tune in to isn't it? but reading your revised example I stopped, rushed back to a para I just thought I'd edited and did it again. And it's much better now.
Thanks - and best of luck with StarMark.
(P.S. - also know what you mean about 'going back to tinker')
Sandra - so glad that something in this post helped! I think, as I've found and become more confident with my own voice, it actually helps with the PD stuff...it's easier to put myself in the character's shoes and react more truthfully, if that makes sense?
DeleteHow wonderful that you have found your writers voice ... I look forward to seeing more of your journey unfold.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kama!
ReplyDeleteNice! I found this when writing one of my novels, that it's noticable when the true voice comes out - when it does it can be hard for the fingers to keep up with the ideas!
ReplyDeleteOnwards and upwards!
Gordon
Yep - know that feeling, Gordon! There aren't enough hours in the day...especially when the kids want to use the laptop as well!
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