My last post celebrated the fact that I'd finished Kingstone. Today's post is a little less celebratory in tone, but relates to the same novel.
The initial euphoria has worn off. I find myself at a loose end, feeling like I should be writing - wanting to write - but there's nothing left TO write. I ought to be thankful, really; I've completed what I set out to do and given myself one less thing to think about in the run-up to Christmas.
But I don't feel like that at all - it feels more like I've experienced a loss, that I've 'lost' Kingstone because I can't do anything else to it, (other than email it to beta-readers) and I don't want to do any of the things on my to-do list which I know I should be doing in its place...
It's weird. I don't remember feeling this way after completing StarMark or Rurik. Perhaps in their cases, when I first said 'finished', I wasn't. There was still lots of editing to do (still might be on StarMark!). In Kingstone's case, I feel it's been written much better, much earlier in the process and it really does feel 'finished'.
Do other authors have a time of - grief sounds wrong, belittling of real heart-wrenching loss - but it really does feel like a loss at this moment.
Am I the only author to feel this way at the completion of a long-term project?
I know the feeling. It's not an easy one, but there is another idea in your head, waiting to bleed out onto a page. It might not come out for a while, but one day it'll appear and you'll have to put it out there again and the torture of not being able to stop will begin again.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I always just read, watch tv, look at cat videos. But knowing that you have an unstoppable stream of ideas, Squidge, it won't be long before inspiration strikes you.
Thanks, Martin.
DeleteThere's something bubbling...but I don't have the headspace to begin at the moment as instead of TV etc, it's all Christmas activities in there at the moment! Hoping my trip to India in January might spark all sorts of things...