Thursday 25 July 2013

Competitions and Confidence.

In September, hundreds of writers, agents, publishers and book doctors will descend on York University campus for a weekend of all things writerly and bookish at the Festival of Writing.

I'm one of them.

Not only do I get to meet, in the flesh, my virtual friends from the cloud - I also get to hear published authors speak about their writerly journeys: always a reminder that success doesn't come overnight - even in the case of overnight successes. I'll be given an opportunity to hear how my writing is shaping up in the book doctor/agent one-to-one sessions, where I get ten minutes of feedback on 3000 words.There'll also be the chance to hear some of the best writing around in the Friday Night Live Competition, and when the winner of the Opening Chapter competition is announced.

Like last year, I shall enter both competitions - but this year, I have a strange reluctance to finalise what to send. I think it's partly because, having attended the Festival once before, I know just how good the entries have to be - and my inner critic is whispering 'you don't stand a chance!'

I'm trying not to listen: I know my writing has improved over the last twelve months. I know I can pull together the threads of a story and weave a damn good adventure with some unexpected twists. I know that I can create believable characters and locations. That's all good stuff. But in spite of having had four short stories published since February, being placed runner-up and third place in two different competitions, and with another short story due to be published later this month, my writer-confidence remains pretty low.

Why?

The problem is that time and time again, I've been told the full length novels I've written aren't commercial enough - don't have the spark - don't excite the 'gatekeepers' of the publishing world. Quite frankly, I'm worried that the spark is missing from whatever I write. And without that spark, what I write will seem ordinary. Not competition winning material. But I won't know if I don't try, will I?

Best tell my inner critic to zip it, and crack on.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Squidge, I think most writers have to switch off their inner critic, or nothing would ever get written. If you don't write, and send it out, you'll never know what you're capable of achieving, and I think that's worse than "failure". Wishing you so much luck with your York entries, and I'm looking forward to meeting you :)

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    1. The inner critic is responsible for so much self-doubt. Why do we even listen to him/her?! Looking forward to meeting you, too, Lou...and hearing how Mrs Sinclair's suitcase is faring.

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